I could be about to make a whole bunch of people mad but oh well, I'm PMSing and I'm mad.

Across the Universe. It's a new movie. It's chock full of Beatles tunes and imagery and a guy named Jude. Not Jude Law, some...bloke.

And uh...well, the Beatles was pretty much shoved down my throat during my entire relationship with the demon, otherwise known as James Andrew Fitzgerald. So when I see the commercials with "strawberry fields" and a "blackbird singing in the dead of night"...I shudder and wanna fucking destroy a hotel room.

Its nuts.

But Paul McCartney isn't so bad. He's a bit too...oh, I don't know what's the word...too much for me. I just can't look at him and not be annoyed with his little ipod commercial and the suit with the converse and the colors and the teeny mandolin. Ohhh I wanna throw him back to the Liverpudlians. Gah.

And don't even get me started on Lennon. I just won't cuz I will totally offend some more people. *sigh*

A better movie that had Beatles songs in it? I Am Sam. It's completely wrong and weird and horrible but Dakota Fanning was adorable and Michelle Pfeiffer was so freaking hot, OMG.

So, those daggers that I can see y'all holding...throw em now cuz I'm done.

Peace. ♥

I just found out the casting choice for some hunters from season 3 of Supernatural. And for adding in one of my favorite bubblegum child stars, Kripke I love you!!! *makes sweet love to your face* I'm talking about ( cut for possible casting spoiler )

I'm officially afraid of my ex-boyfriend, James. Officially. He called me the other night and I just feel so weird now. Like he's gonna show up at my house. But if he does, my dad and older brother are the only ones he'll be seeing. HEH. And I got to see Donte(my boo) today!! *fangirlsquee* Gosh darn, he's awesome. And I got my kiss before he left. He visited me while I was working, and I hugged him.

I'm working on my two Dean/Gordon related fics. The one Dean/Gordon I wanted from Hunted. And my vampire!Dean fic. I'm on part two now, I think it's gonna be a bit more like 10 parts total. So yay!! And yeah mre_quecky, those two have your name written all over it.

Oh, and one last thing. jenniferkaos is the best friend to end all best friends. She meant to send me a Sam Winchester poster and I got a Dean one instead. Well, she called the company and fought and pulled strings and now I have a Sam Winchester poster headed to me. Can I just say: I LOVE YOU, JENSINA!!! Yeah, my nickname for her is Jensina. And I'm Jaredina. ♥

I swear James and I are on a roll. He just basically wanted to cuddle and just be together tonight. And when we were making plans, he just made my day. He says,"Let's just sit and cuddle and watch all your episodes of Supernatural that you taped." *giggle swoon* Seriously!! We watched Croatoan, Hunted, Nightshifter, Houses of the Holy, and Born Under A Bad Sign. I have all the shows from this season except Bloodlust, because I forgot to set my VCR. *guh* Anyways, we watched the only these episodes before we got tired so we just cuddled after we watched evil!Sammy be thwarted.

I called him Sammy. And he likes that. Dean is great and all, but Sam will settle down before Dean even utters the word commitment. And James' hair is even starting to do this Sammy thing. Its getting kinda long. Hopefully he'll try the long look again for a while.

*goes to sleep dreaming about her Jammy* By the way, my new ringtone is Renegade by Styx.

James is home this weekend. And I think yesterday was the most beautiful and perfect day I've had yet this year. It was amazing. And yay!!

*hugs flist*

I just got home...phew. I went out to dinner with my mom's best friend and her daughter who I call my mini-me. We ate at Red Robin, one of my facorite places. Then we went bowling. And this was the first time I ever did it. It was pretty fun even though my right hand is dying from the pain from almost breaking it. *stupid* It was cool getting 3 strikes! And I got a bunch of spares. Beginner's luck, but still the coolest stuff ever.

Hopefully James will get on soon so I can tell him all about it.

I wish it was Monday, I would be talking to Liz or not2shy..but on Monday, I got a doc appt..*tear* I'll be out early so I can get in and get out. So I can talk to my babies!

My dad went into the hospital today. He's a diabetic and his blood sugar went up over 600, which is terrible if you're a diabetic. It basically means that if you don't get to a hospital fast to get your sugar levels down, then you better pick out a headstone and fast. :(

Anyway we were there for hours, and hours. Luckily, having a great boyfriend means that he will come to the hospital and wait with you in the waiting room and rub your leg and make sure you're okay and ride with you when your mother drives you home and have his dad pick him up there. *smiles* They're keeping Daddy overnight too.

So yeah..give me hugs please. *Sammy puppy eyes*

We cried in each other's arms after we fought like lions. My trust issues are something I have to work on. I finally told him how I feel about having to take meds for depression..I feel like a crazy person, like a mutant..

But now he knows and now I know him, and I love him.

So for further posts, I won't be including James in anything. And that's it.

I had one tonight. And the smile won't leave my face. I soooooo missed my James..and tonight was bloody brilliant. On top of that, we exchanged gifts and he loved his Pasta book and the wooden plaque and box I made for him. I was so happy I did good on gifts. And yay he bought me the Sony CyberShot camera that I wanted. Sweet!!!

*hugs flist*

So I watched Supernatural with James last night. I'm not sure he liked it. I tried my best to keep my fangirling subdued. It was so fucking hard. I just wanted to jump inside the TV and kinda rape the boys. Thank god thats impossible... But yeah he wasn't really into it. Probably because he doesn't care about supernatural events, family dramas, cute boys, or '67 Chevy Imapalas. Can't hate him for it. But Thursday nights at 9, I'm gonna be watching Spn, if he wants to join, he's more than welcome. But I think I'll be watching alone. We actually didnt do much else..he wasn't interested in watching that HBO special Real Sex so we watched other stuff, stumbled upon Sky Captain. And we watched because James has an unspoken crush on Jude Law. Don't tell him I said that. LOL.

Something funny my little brother said the other day..We were watching the video I made for SPN, he likes to see what I do for the show, graphics and otherwise. Well, he was looking at the one clip I used from HOME. And he watched how big Jensen's eyes got when the psychic woman was talking to him, and Alex [my little brother] said, "When Dean has his eyes like that, he looks like that chicken from Chicken Run.." Hilarious!! Because now when I watch it, I totally see it. That's great. I love when Alex opens my eyes to that stuff.

I downloaded this interview of Jensen from his Dark Angel days from the bottom of this page. And I have finally come up with what I like my man/boyfriend/love slave/boytoy to be able to do and encompass. I love when a man can produce this obviously macho exterior without being blatantly offensive and be able to just give you that smile that can melt you right to the core and all of a sudden he's a sweetheart. And if I can see a man blush, that's got to be the most attractive physical trait I've ever seen. Just the smile that melts and the blushiness that shows his vulnerability. Goodness, that's so sexy to me.

And needless to say, James has one of the cutest blushy moments where he realizes he's just been called out on something and he can't stop giggling. It's so cute. I love his blushy smile.

And I should be getting off here to go work on my woodworking. And don't think I can't hear you snickering, I can hear it. *spank* You know exactly what I mean by woodworking..LOL

I passed my art class with an A-. Fuck yeah!! *dances around listening to Shakira*

By the way, I'd like to say that I love James Andrew Fitazgerald. And I always will. He's the most beautiful, passionate, understanding, forgiving, most loyal man I have ever met in my life. And that's why I just guh, I love him. And well, just had to let you know.

( mini Brandon Routh picspam..because Brandon and my boyfriend are fucking rockstars )

*not single* I'm gonna start leaving all my relationship news out of the LJ spotlight. It's really..Idk, it helps to get it out but I'll just get a real diary or something. So then its actually private. You guys really helped me out though. But seeing as how James hates that I write in this journal about him, I'm stopping. So, that's it for that.

I'm making some icons with House of Wax. Going nicely. And it's helping this immense hole fill up. The hole of confusion and the abyss. So that's good. Umm, yeah, I'm addicted to this movie. Seeing Jared get all waxed up, kind of a turn on. So I guess this movie is porny.

Anyways, I'm gonna go take a shower and go hang out with J. And I just finished two videos. One with some clips of the Paley interview, and then one where Dean is all sad and emo. I like him being vulnerable. I'm so Dean sometimes, I try my best to hide what I really feel behind a smile but it al comes out sooner or later. At least I don't punch my brother or something.

I think I will call him soon or have him call me. I feel so stupid right now. Like I shouldn't have broken up with him. But in order to get back together, we gotta talk alot. Maybe I am super stupid or something. Whatever.

I need some comfort food or something.

I talked to Danny last night. He helped me out in a major way. He opened my eyes to a few things in my relationship. And I have got to talk to James alot this weekend about alot. *sigh* It sucks though...

But hey if I can excape a dungeon, I can talk...

Well, I went up to Philadelphia today. Ended up going to The Gallery mall outlet. It was fine. I only got a pair of jeans though. I'm really not much of a shopper. Especially when the stores are immensely packed. It always makes me nervous/anxious. But whatever, I got something nice and that was ok. And my mom almost killed this lady. It was awesome. My mom almost kicked her ass!! *praises mommy* I really wanna get some nice sleek sexy boots. I want them bad! Oh, and just a quick question..is Christian Bale playing a mexican man in his new movie? I haven't researched that yet. But everyone in the movie is latin/spanish/hispanic...so yeah.

Anyway, I'm kinda busy talking to Jimmy. *swoon* Bye, lovelies!!

p.s. this is the icon i made of tove:..where can i get a pretty one OR can anyone make one? I want a Tove icon..

I haven't posted in a day or so. Sorry for that...*spanks self* *giggle*

Anyways, I've gotten a chance to hang with James and its been awesome. Last night, we went out and got ice cream from ColdStone. And my ice cream was the awesomest ever. It was PUMPKIN!!!!!!! For those of you who don't know, I'll let you in. I have an absolute bordering obsession with pumkins and pumpkin flavored items. Delicious! I was so happy I got something with that glorious taste. It was lovely. And James got pumpkin too.

And then tonight, we went out to see The Prestige. It was really good. But I will say this, if you do not like to be fooled, then don't see this. I was fooled majorly and I loved every minute of it. Christian Bale was bloody brilliant and Hugh Jackman was gorgeous. Mmmmmm, men are nice. Lol. And Scarlett Johannsen was alright. She didn't seem too important when you had two utterly gorgeous men in suits and ties and top hats. So overall, this movie gets 2 thumbs up.

And the cold weather outside combined with my newly found smaller figure and barely there weight has made me something resembling a sick puppy. My throat feels weird and I feel a vomit coming on. *shares too much* But other than that, I'm tops. I guess that's all I wanted to say. Oh, and does anybody know an actual website where fafiction in all forms can be found? I'm at a loss.

Toodles! *has art project due on Monday* D'oh! *needs to find a good Hayden moodtheme as well*

I get to see James tonight. I'm so happy. I think I will try to make my userinfo pretty tonight as well. Make it nice and perdyful. *channels _charon's creativity. I'm thinking orange, red, brown, green....earth tones. But yeah, I wonder how people make those box thingies like _charon has, its so pretty. I think I may have to employ some lj workers to help me. *hangs help wanted sign* But before I employ someone, I gotta know exactly what I want, duh! *headdesk* Lol, I just took a picture of myself. I was in the mood for a pic. So yeah, um...Somebody help me.. Tell me what they like people doing in userinfo pages, I want something new. I like change and I'm not afraid of it.

( random picture of me )

*thinks about orangeness*

i get to see jim in two days. i can't wait.

I'm doing very well these days. Pretty soon, I will sing to my boyfriend because I want him to know that I can be vulnerable around him. And I'm going to sing Leann Rimes' How Do I Live Without You. It's gonna be perfect...

( lyrics to the song )

I just had my first Basic Designs class. It was great. It ran from 10a to 3pm. But we had like an hour or so of break time inbetween so it was nice. And I drew a red apple, a white jug and 2 more green apples. It was cool. I made a 3D picture and a 2D picture. But this guy in that class was eye-fucking me like a mofo. I wanted to say something, trying to channel bitchygrrl's fierceness, but it was to no avail. I do not like him thus far though. *sticks out tongue*

Me and Jim are doing good lately. It's been quite a time lately. Scandals and controversy abounded but we're a stubborn bunch cuz we will never ever give up on eachother. I mean, I LOVE HIM MORE THAN I LOVE CHOCOLATE. And that's alot. Oh, and I miss his hugs and kisses. He's up at his college in Chester, PA without a car because his engine died. =P But we are strong and we will make it through this time apart.

And yay for Danny and Lisa!! Sweeties 4 Lyfe! Lol, I know you guys'll love that.

I gotta take pics of the shirt I am wearing today. It fucking rocks the universe.