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steady as she goes
she thinks too much, its painful
So here's what's going on in my neck of the woods. 
20th-Sep-2007 11:58 pm
john telling the secret
I got to see my big brother today!!! I was so happy. Since he moved out, I've been missing him. It always makes me happy when he stops by the house or by the store when I'm working. We're so Sam/Dean nowadays, its awesome. 'Course we've been bestest friends since I exited the womb so yeah.

And this may just be the slightly depressed and heartbroken little girl in me who's looking for love and acceptance and who wants someone to need her...but I've been dreaming of having babies. Like I really want one or something. I don't know, I keep dreaming of the swell that my belly will make and going through intense labor and having that little hand holding mine. Tell me I'm crazy please and too young for babies. *sigh*

I'm not with Donte anymore, he stopped talking to me. And that really hurt my feelings. Like of course he was the rebound but I don't think I deserve two heartbreaks like that in a month. This girl's self-esteem is so low, I mean its depressing. Hug me, please.

So in a nutshell, I'm not doing good these days. Not one damn bit.
Comments 
21st-Sep-2007 05:20 am (UTC)
Err, you're too young to have kids. PLEASE. I know enough people our age having kids lol

Hmm, maybe that's why they say not to do rebounds? I don't know. I was never good with relationships.
21st-Sep-2007 10:31 pm (UTC)
I know, it's definitely an epidemic with the young mamaz.

Yeah, he just told me that he's been busy this past week, busy with work and school and working out and playing ball.

I just don't have the strength to try and work it out. I'm exhausted already...
21st-Sep-2007 06:17 am (UTC)
*HUGS*

21st-Sep-2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
*huggles*

icon!love. demon kisses just..rule.
21st-Sep-2007 07:17 am (UTC)
Why did he stop talking to you?

This is not nice but don't let your self esteen depends on what guys do, you're beetter than this.

*hugs tight*
21st-Sep-2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
Because he's busy being a first-year college student. There's stuff to do that's more fun..I don't know. :\

I know I'm better than this. I just get so sensitive. I hate feeling left. Its happened too many times, that's why its so hard for me to trust anyone and then I get hurt anyways..

*squeeze*
22nd-Sep-2007 07:27 am (UTC)
*hugs hugs hugs*
21st-Sep-2007 10:23 am (UTC)
oh, honey. Yes you're too young for babies. You're just lonely. *hugs*

I'm sorry, darlin'.
21st-Sep-2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
I really am so lonely. I've never really wanted kids but now I do and I'm actually kinda turned on by being a mommy. Not good at all. *sigh, squeezes you*

Don't be sorry, just hug me again.
21st-Sep-2007 01:04 pm (UTC)
*tackle-hugs*
21st-Sep-2007 10:50 pm (UTC)
Guh gimme gimme gimme more hugs. *gets tackled* *pets the cute puppy*
21st-Sep-2007 08:09 pm (UTC)
*hugs* big brothers are awesome^^ I know, got one, too ;D

hope you get better
21st-Sep-2007 10:54 pm (UTC)
Three cheers for brothers! LOL Lex and Drew are the best brothers ever.

*huggles you* Did you get my comment about the first two chapters of vampire!Dean? I finished the first two chapters.
22nd-Sep-2007 11:13 am (UTC)
yeah, and I posted back my e-mail addy^^ here again:

a.schmitter@web.de just write something in the info, so I know it's no spam...

I'd gladly do the beta^^
22nd-Sep-2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
Ahh woops. I did get that. HAHA. I just sent it, attached the story to the email. And the title line is "vampire!Dean is love"

*huggles you*
23rd-Sep-2007 04:41 am (UTC)
YA BIG BROTHER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **WAVES**

I seriously think that Donte just couldnt handle the baggage that James laid on his lap. Not you dear but James. I cant blame him but maybe one day he will learn to look past what cant be controlled because you cant cntrol James hell he would never actually listen to a word you had to say so ... never the less you will find someone who loves you and can kiss just as good if not better !
23rd-Sep-2007 05:06 am (UTC)
He really is the best big brother I could've asked for. He's awesome beyond awesome.

I guess I'm just happy that I'm not nor was I ever one of those girls who always had to be with a man. I'm just fine taking a break right now. I still need to mend my heart, and it was too quick with Donte.

Plus, that gives me time to work my magic on Jensen. *giggle*
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