So here's the deal. From this point on, this journal is...




Before you read about me, this journal is about 98% friends-locked for a damn good reason. There are things in here that I don't want everybody and their mama reading. I do have all my graphics, fiction and video postings open for viewing though, because who doesn't love videos and icons and such? But if you friend me, odds are I'll friend you back. Especially if I know you from a community or past journal I've had. So, onto the festivities, yes?

I've been rec'd over @ crack_impala in this post





I also have a graphics/video/fiction journal::hwsm_addict

I wanted a new layout. Black/White theme. Heath banner that I made from scans from the lovely xena_2001de in hires_hunks. Kudos to her!

My banner is fudgin up the layout a bit. Maddy help me!! Otherwise it looks pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Oh and Oscar Wilde quote for teh win!!

*heath!love* Since I haven't said it on here yet, The Dark Knight rules. So all the anti-folks, please just cool it. Kthnx.

Does anybody have 'Piece of Me' by miss Britney Spears??

I will have your baby!

i really need to make a new jensen icon. he one i'm using is dated and ugly. i need a hot one. one jared would salivate over.

in other news, this phone rocks out loud. i'm actually posting this journal entry using my new motorola q. i love this phone. it has internet and email and i'm checking now to get my IMs forwarded to my phone.

so all in all? i'm happy. *hugs flist*

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! [cuz i have been too tired to drag my ass to the computer to say it!!!!!]

The background is now showing. Thank god! ♥

he_will_save_me he_will_save_me he_will_save_me he_will_save_me he_will_save_me he_will_save_me

So my old one was "Those Winchester Boys". It was blue stripes and pretty blueness.

But now I wanted greens. And I wanted Christensen&Alba. Also known as Awake. This layout is called "And Breathe Me;".

Check it out!!!
he_will_save_me he_will_save_me he_will_save_me he_will_save_me he_will_save_me

This is the episode I have been dreading beyond my wildest dreams. I don't do well with Christmas. I don't do well at all. I cry more than smile because it just isn't a good time for me.

Also, I am seriously considering whther or not I will watch this ep of Supernatural. I just can't do it. I don't know.

I just read the sides for it. Just so I'd see what might happen and everything. And I'm crying.

So there's the answer I guess.

*hugs flist*

I am just an emotional wreck. Obviously.

Because I cried during TWO parts of Supernatural tonight. TWO. The middle where they were in that room and the end with the...*tearing up*...car.

Fuck. I think I'm gonna go cry again.

Episode review in the works.

Is buying the companion books for both seasons of Supernatural really worth it?

I mean, I kinda want them...but is it really worth it?

I swear I'm a Sam!girl...but I mean, come on!

( just one thing about tonight's episode )

Poll #1084302 Which is more hot?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 3

Pick the pairing for my hotfic.

Explain please.

By the way, everyone wave to my loveslave, Marty. *hi*

title: ready to breathe.
author:he_will_save_me aka Aurielle
rating: PG-13
genre death!fic, Gen
pairing: None
summary:He’d have to let Dean go because that’s what you do. You let people leave who have to leave.
word count: less than 800
warnings: dead!Dean, angsty!Sammy
author’s note: I get really angsty when I’m depressed so sorry if you have to pull out tissues.
additional notes: at the end of the story.
disclaimer: This is lies, fiction, the definition of ‘not real’.
feedback: The single most orgasmic thing on the planet.
betas/handholders: boheme06 and jenniferkaos without whom I would be up sh!t creek without a paddle. Thanks girls!

_

Sam sits in the driver’s seat as he stares at Dean in the rearview mirror. He hadn’t taken his eyes off him in the two hours since his heart stopped except to watch the road as he drives.

cross-posted to spn_dark_vault, to sam_support, and to hwsm_addict(my fiction/graphics community)

I just finished this lil one-shot fic.

title: every breath we drew was hallelujah.
author:he_will_save_me aka Aurielle
rating: PG-13
genre death!fic, Gen
pairing: None
summary: Sam couldn't save Dean and he dies after one year.
word count: less than 800
warnings: dead!Dean, angsty!Sammy
author’s note: I get really angsty when I’m depressed so sorry if you have to pull out tissues. Title taken from lyrics to ‘Hallelujah’.

It's all done but I need a beta to check it for me so I can post it. It would be great if I can post it before work. I got two hours before I leave.

So thanks.(I'll email the .doc file after you comment.) No pressure. LOL

I'm gonna start a new personal journal(that I actually write in, like a real notebook). Lately, I've been feeling so depressed, like all these old feelings are rushing back in and I know that a journal is what helped me before. Also, art and drawing helped me too. So I plan on doing some art as well.

Don't be surprised if I take a break from LJ for an extended period of time. I just need a break. A little vacation of sorts.

And time to ponder what I really want from this great big green world.

Her latest : A Million Points of Light

I'm actually scared to say anything about it for fear of what people will say.

So just read it and send her comments.

**special love to my friends who gave me the hugs and spanks on my last post. muchas gracia a todos.**

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Aurielle

2. YOUR GANSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Aurizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (favourite colour and animal): Green Hippo

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Majau

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (your second favourite colour and random thing): Black Rainbow

6. YOUR ARABIC NAME (second letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of your dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name and last letter of your mom's middle name): Ujeodan

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (parent's middle names): Eileen Wade

8. YOUR 'GOTH' NAME (black and the name of one of your pets): Black Daisy

I got to see my big brother today!!! I was so happy. Since he moved out, I've been missing him. It always makes me happy when he stops by the house or by the store when I'm working. We're so Sam/Dean nowadays, its awesome. 'Course we've been bestest friends since I exited the womb so yeah.

And this may just be the slightly depressed and heartbroken little girl in me who's looking for love and acceptance and who wants someone to need her...but I've been dreaming of having babies. Like I really want one or something. I don't know, I keep dreaming of the swell that my belly will make and going through intense labor and having that little hand holding mine. Tell me I'm crazy please and too young for babies. *sigh*

I'm not with Donte anymore, he stopped talking to me. And that really hurt my feelings. Like of course he was the rebound but I don't think I deserve two heartbreaks like that in a month. This girl's self-esteem is so low, I mean its depressing. Hug me, please.

So in a nutshell, I'm not doing good these days. Not one damn bit.

I could be about to make a whole bunch of people mad but oh well, I'm PMSing and I'm mad.

Across the Universe. It's a new movie. It's chock full of Beatles tunes and imagery and a guy named Jude. Not Jude Law, some...bloke.

And uh...well, the Beatles was pretty much shoved down my throat during my entire relationship with the demon, otherwise known as James Andrew Fitzgerald. So when I see the commercials with "strawberry fields" and a "blackbird singing in the dead of night"...I shudder and wanna fucking destroy a hotel room.

Its nuts.

But Paul McCartney isn't so bad. He's a bit too...oh, I don't know what's the word...too much for me. I just can't look at him and not be annoyed with his little ipod commercial and the suit with the converse and the colors and the teeny mandolin. Ohhh I wanna throw him back to the Liverpudlians. Gah.

And don't even get me started on Lennon. I just won't cuz I will totally offend some more people. *sigh*

A better movie that had Beatles songs in it? I Am Sam. It's completely wrong and weird and horrible but Dakota Fanning was adorable and Michelle Pfeiffer was so freaking hot, OMG.

So, those daggers that I can see y'all holding...throw em now cuz I'm done.

Peace. ♥

I was bitten by the lovebug again. This time by High School Musical's beautifully awesomely bad gaybuddies in love, Troy Bolton and Chad Danforth. And no, there are no communities where I could post this.

title:thanks for the memories
author:he_will_save_me aka Aurielle
rating:nc-17
genre high school musical FPS
pairing: troy bolton/chad danforth
summary: They had only kissed before and done some heavy petting, what they called ‘practice’. Tenth grade had been another dry year. No kissing, no girlfriends, no nothing. So they figured they should practice for when they finally got with a girl. What’s the worst that could happen, right?
word count: +1,230 words
warnings: underage sex/experimentation
author’s note:i was so against high school musical when it first debuted. then i watched it and fell in love with the troy/chad friendship. they are just too cute. like a teeny version of jensen an jared, but with basketball uniforms and song and dance numbers that burst out from nowhere. fyi, if you aren't famliar with the characters and the actors who play them:chad danforth is played by corbin bleu(curly boy bleu) and troy bolton is played by zac efron(the pretty boy).
disclaimer:this is lies, fiction, the definition of ‘not real’.
feedback:the only motivation i need to bring you the porny goodness.
unbeta'd

_

(Chad chucked his boxers off again and leaned back across Troy’s bed, he already expected he didn’t need them. And he was right.)

I have a new header up. Those Winchester boys.

Why can I not find slash fiction about Troy/Chad from High School Musical?? I'm pissed cuz all I can find is Ryan/Chad. Course anything with Chad is great...but I want him with Troy dammit!!

*hugs*

I just found out the casting choice for some hunters from season 3 of Supernatural. And for adding in one of my favorite bubblegum child stars, Kripke I love you!!! *makes sweet love to your face* I'm talking about ( cut for possible casting spoiler )

I'm officially afraid of my ex-boyfriend, James. Officially. He called me the other night and I just feel so weird now. Like he's gonna show up at my house. But if he does, my dad and older brother are the only ones he'll be seeing. HEH. And I got to see Donte(my boo) today!! *fangirlsquee* Gosh darn, he's awesome. And I got my kiss before he left. He visited me while I was working, and I hugged him.

I'm working on my two Dean/Gordon related fics. The one Dean/Gordon I wanted from Hunted. And my vampire!Dean fic. I'm on part two now, I think it's gonna be a bit more like 10 parts total. So yay!! And yeah mre_quecky, those two have your name written all over it.

Oh, and one last thing. jenniferkaos is the best friend to end all best friends. She meant to send me a Sam Winchester poster and I got a Dean one instead. Well, she called the company and fought and pulled strings and now I have a Sam Winchester poster headed to me. Can I just say: I LOVE YOU, JENSINA!!! Yeah, my nickname for her is Jensina. And I'm Jaredina. ♥

He just told me that if he'd been here when J came over to break up with me, he'd have broken his jaw or worse.

My brother's the best.

+John Waters' Shock Value
+texting with Jennifer and Rayvon
+peanut butter crackers
+working and keeping busy
+Kyle XY
+Supernatural episodes
+Amazon.com
+cereal
+LiveJournal
+Frasier late at night
+ the Moto-Q phone that I'm getting soon
+my ipod (Teena Marie songs in particular)

...cuz they really make me feel better.

I didn't know there was one! But I just sent in my application to join.



Bobby/Ellen enthusiasts need apply. :D

I found a technique and had to test it out.

Hunted icons: [dreamlike/hazy icons]
+28

Teaser:

only	in	my	dreams

Icons be here

Rules:
++Comment and credit.
++Do not hotlink
++Textless icons are NOT bases. DO NOT CUSTOMIZE.
++All caps used for this post are from bunny_icons run by leggyslove. Thank you!
++Resources are here.
++Feedback is much appreciated.

So I looked on my profile and there is a chocolate cupcake.
And no one is fessing up to fattening me up.
Who did it? So I can hug the hell out of you!!
And give you much love.

But if you don't want to come forward...*lol*
THANK YOU!!! *iz fat now*

title: nine to five
author: he_will_save_me aka Aurielle
rating: nc-17
pairing: jensen ackles/jared padalecki
summary: there’s a lot of talking about bad dads and guilt. this is the angst chapter i guess.
warnings: homosexual sex between an arrogant 17-year-old and a sexually repressed 21-year-old. gayboy angst.
author’s note: the much anticipated(could be an exaggeration) sequel to ‘nine to five’. but it’s only part two. i want there to be more.
disclaimer: jared and jensen don’t have gay sex. with each other. or anyone else. at least not that i know of. and bruce willis and denzel washington are in no way getting paid for being mentioned.
feedback: like the feeling i get when i see sam/jared and dean/jensen smiling at each other. pure blissful serenity, i tell ya.
beta/handholder: riorhapsody

* * * * * * * * *

Chapter One

Chapter Two

title: nine to five
author: he_will_save_me aka Aurielle
rating: nc-17
pairing: jensen ackles/jared padalecki
side character: christian kane
summary: the last time jensen had an erection that he actually wanted to take care of was years ago. chris was wearing these tight jordache jeans that showed the incredible curve of the incomparable drool-worthy texan ass that he must have been hiding from jensen for fear that he’d be attacked on the spot like a raging bull to the color red. But this kid, this brat of a kid with a mop of chesnut brown hair, legs for days and the ability to smile and make every dick in the room stand at attention...well, this kid had a hold on jensen. and if it was the last thing he’d do, he was going to fuck him.
warnings: homosexual sex between an arrogant 17-year-old and a sexually repressed 21-year-old. (underage!jared) kane!kink. back room sex.
author’s note: i’ve never written j-squared. so i decided to ease into it, with this. i’m a virgin to this kind of writing, so please be kind.
disclaimer: jared and jensen don’t have gay sex. with each other. or anyone else. at least not that i know of.
feedback: like the feeling i get when i see sam/jared and dean/jensen smiling at each other. pure blissful serenity, i tell ya.
beta/handholder: riorhapsody

Jensen took the night off. The first time in a long time since he started the graveyard shift at the watering hole down the street, Eight. The gay bar had a lot of business every single night and Jensen needed the money like a druggie needs their next hit. He was a waiter there from 9 at night to 5 in the morning. Needless to say, when he wore his crisp white dress shirt with skinny black tie, tight black slacks and apron, he got more than looks and catcalls. The guys at those hours of the night were interested in one thing, and one thing only. To fuck the gorgeous young waiter before they leave.

x-posted to dean_sam and padacklesrps

I've been enjoying my first season boxset for a couple days now and I gotta say that my favorite little featurette is an easter egg of Kripke saying thank you to the fans. It's on the sixth disc, when you highlight the 'Day In The Life..'(I think) the light to the barn lights up and you can click it(y'all probably know this..I'm just saying where I found it) and you get this little clip of Kripke looking so young and skinny and sweet saying how big a fanboy he is and how grateful he is of all of us. I was literally geeking the whole way through it because I love Eric. I love everything about him. And he's not a dick like some other show creators, who shall remain nameless.

Anyways, I'm jsut saying that besides 22 great episodes from the DVDs the best part is seeing my baby boy shining his way to the hearts of many with his cuteness.

Sammy, I still love you babe. But Kripke wins this round. *wink*

And to my real-life baby: Hope the beach is treating you nice and sorry you have to go straight to work tomorrow morning. Dang.

Okay so yesterday was kind of a blur. I had the greatest cup of coffee ever which resulted in a fast-paced day in which I had work and then I had me some James time.

And I wrote a bit on the vampire!Dean story. Nothing really yet so far. But I like how it's going. ( This is what I've written so far )

So tell me what you think. Be honest..tell me if it sucks big donkey dick.

And I think I may bug a few of you while I write this because well...I want to and you can't do anything about it. So just take it. Ha.

And yeah I've been out of the jared_stillness contests for two weeks and I really wanna do this one cuz it's Jared in a cowboy hat. And mmm is that hot or what? Yes! But if I don't make it by tonight's deadline then I'll just make an icon post cuz I must icon the Texan boy.

*hugs flist*

Sidenote: My boyfriend's parents found his brother's bong. Stupid pothead. I think that's hilarious. But I'm not a bad girl so I can laugh and then go do homework or something..lol.

title:i’m not drunk
author:he_will_save_me aka Aurielle
rating:nc-17
pairing:bam margera/ryan dunn aka dugera
summary:ryan nodded quickly and moved down to the end of the bed again. He started peeling off his layers of clothing, not saying a word as he locked the door.
warnings:mansexing. rimming. first time. the teeniest amount of schmoop.
author’s note:this is all due to apostrophee’s ficcage of dugera. and riorhapsody encouraged me. so if you die flailing, kindly send all hospital and mortuary bills to those ladies. thanks.
disclaimer:i’m fairly new to this fandom, but i’ve known the boys since jackass episode one so yeah, i think i know them pretty well. but this ain’t one of those “hi, we’re two nonsexual boys who don’t do anything wrongsowrong, we’re prudes” kind of fics so if you’re not into slashing this pairing, kindly take your ass elsewhere. ♥
feedback:incredibly appreciated since this is my first dugera. maybe not the last if you enjoy it.
betas/handholders: apostrophee and riorhapsody
------------------------------------------------------------

I'm kinda crushed that I'm not gonna see James tonight. I hate it..and it sucks..but whatever.

Maddy! My layout works now. Everything. The header, the background. It's all there. OMG. I'm too tired to be bouncing like this..

Jensen in Dark Angel icons:

+47 icons

Teaser:

just	a	bit of	a tease

Click for X5-494

It's supposed to look pretty..but it's kinda wonky.

apostrophee!!! Help please! ♥

At least Jensen's pretty lips are good as my temporary header.

**OMG I went in to work at 7:45 only to find out I don't work til 12:30pm. How friggin mad am I?! Totally gonna spend my time writing Bam/Ryan.**

I got really graphic happy yesterday and after I finished some Dark Angel icons (which will be posted soon), I made some small banners for your userinfos.

5 banners in all:
+1 Alec/Logan/Sketchy
+1 Alec/Logan
+1 Alec/Max
+1 Alec
+1 Ben

Teasers:




Ya know, that barcode? That's really cute on you.

title:in the jungle where we play
author:he_will_save_me aka Aurielle
rating:nc-17
pairing:sam/dean
summary:he would have never imagined the scarlet drops on his brother’s lips, the change in his eyes from indolent to predatory would awake in him the hunger that he never knew he always wanted.
word count: ~5,380
warnings:incest. mild blood play. violence.
author’s note:i got the idea for this story after watching the trailer for hannibal rising on constant rotation. i can’t get over the blood on the lips and the silent lick and wayward smile of the man who eats people. so there.
credit of title goes to:lyrics from the guns’n’roses song “welcome to the jungle”.
disclaimer:there are no vampires in delaware. i live there so i would know. i’d love to see the boys visit my state though. oh, and sam and dean winchester belong to kripke and co. i only borrow for this complete farce.
beta'd by:dev_earl. any remaining errors are mine.
dedication:to jenniferkaos because i love your bones, sis!
Note:my first SPN fic.

* * * * * * * * *

The boys had been in Delaware for two weeks before they finally got the scent of the vampire’s nest. They caught wind of kidnappings and mutilated bodies found in the river...

cross-posted to hwsm_addict, wincest, dean_sam, supernaturalfic, dean_x_sammy, sn_slash

She is my bestest friend and I shall finish the Alec icons for her because I love her bones and she makes me giggle and makes my heart smile.

In our slumber party, Jared's hair is in pigtails and Jensen is in Batman undies.

We rule.

Anthony Hamilton is a great neo-soul artist.

Anthony Hamilton - Comin' From Where I'm From--1 song

And a greatest hits record from Teena Marie. I just went to see her in concert. And it was so amazing.

Teena Marie - Super Hits--full cd

Like I said in a previous post, I'm making a Sammy-centric video for the sam_support. And I have all of my clips together that I love and were suggested to me from you guys from this post. But I was looking for a song to use, one that all fangirls would love. And I could pick the song myself but I'm more inclined to R&B and since the showw is centered around a Classic Rock theme, I figured I'd let the fans do the choosing. Otherwise, I would've picked either EnVogue's What A Man or Toni Braxton's You're Making Me High. Meh.

So suggestions? I'm open to everything.

I'm doing a video that I plan on donating to sam_support because they're awesome and I love Sam that much.

But this is where you guys help me. I need you guys to comment with your favorite Sammy scenes from both seasons.

My mind has gone completely blank for some reason today and I would absolutely love any help you can give.

+1 Dean/John vid
+1 AHBL slight recap video

Vidder: Aurielle, he_will_save_me
Video Title: All the Things You Said
Song: All the Things She Said
Artist: t.A.T.u.
Category: Father/Son relationship.
Pairings: almost-semi-sorta-quasi implied Dean/John.
Warnings: If you squint really hard, the video seems to have a 'daddycest' theme, but it can be overlooked.
Summary: Yet another Dean/John relationship video from me. I love Dean and I love John, and their relationship is one that is quite interesting.
Length: 3:47
File size: 24.8mb, wmv (720x480)

***

Song Title/Vid Title: All Hell Breaks Loose-Hero's Come Back
Vidder: Aurielle, he_will_save_me
Artist: from the Naruto Soundtrack
Category: Narrative using the two-part season 2 finale.
Characters: Mostly Sam/Dean with a dash of Papa Winchester.
Pairings: None here. *wink*
Warnings: If you haven't seen the finale, then what are you waiting for? Watch it! And don't watch this video, because you will be spoiled.
Summary: Using clips from the two-part season 2 finale, I constructed a short narrative showing what happened at the end of the season.
Length: 1:44
File Size: 17.8mb, wmv (720x480)

Download link at my comm, hwsm_addict

++32 icons from Skin

Teaser:

just	a	tease

Skin icons located here.

++31 icons from Something Wicked

Teaser:

just	a	tease

Something Wicked icons located here.

So here's the list of songs that I still need to get. The ones that have James' name next to them mean that he's got the cd's that include those songs so those are covered. The list will be updated as I get the songs. Anybody that can help has me in their debt. I don't know what I'll do for you, you just ask and I'm yours for whatever.

I swear I'll do anything to have all this music again. *so not joking*

( All the music )

Song Title/Vid Title: Sam and Dean-Bond theme
Vidder: Aurielle, he_will_save_me
Artist: John Barry and Orchestra
Category: Adventure/experimental.
Characters: Sam, Dean. Cameos by Cassie and Madison.
Pairings: Sam/Madison, Dean/Cassie
Warnings: None.
Summary: Clips of the boys in various uniforms, with various women set to the theme from James Bond by John Barry and orchestra.
Time: 1:56min
Size: 12mb

YouTube viewing link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqeX6ZvomhI *still pending, will be available for viewing shortly*
Zshare download link: http://www.zshare.net/video/sam-and-dean_bond-wmv.html
MediaFire download link: http://www.mediafire.com/?cjlyom2omyg

Enjoy! Concrit is always welcome and helps so much.

Okay so I got really bored and I decided to take pictures of my Dean and Sam sims, so here they are if you want to take a look. Most of the post is worksafe, but there's one section that's completely not safe for work, cuz there's penises..enjoy!!

( Th Sims 2 starring Sam and Dean Winchester )

Song Title/Vid Title: Bang Bang.
Vidder: Aurielle, he_will_save_me
Artist: Nancy Sinatra
Category: Character studies.
Characters: Dean and Sam Winchester
Pairings: If you squint, there's implied Winchestercest.
Warnings: Guns a blazing, brothers hurting eachother.
Summary: The dark side of Sam and Dean's relationship. It shows how much hurt you can inflict on the one you love the most.
Size, Time: 11 mb. 2:43.

Download @ zshare @ http://www.zshare.net/video/samdean_bangbang-wmv.html
YouTube viewing link @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKurQsdfBs8
MediaFire download link @ http://www.mediafire.com/?fqlyzzlrmqz

Constructive Criticism always welcome. Enjoy!!

Devour [+41]
Dark Angel [+26]
Supernatural Misc Episodes [+60]

Total IN BOTH PARTS [+393]

( icons under cut )

Brandon Routh [+13]
Born Under A Bad Sign [+95]
Ewan McGregor [+12]
Jude Law/James Dean [+5]
Jared Padalecki [+72]
Jensen Ackles [+35]
Jensen/Jared J² [+34]

Total IN BOTH PARTS [+393]

( icons under cut )

Link to part two: here